For most loved and most close ones

Don’t know from where to start as thoughts, feelings, care, values and love can never be bound under words, sentences, phrases and small articles….I don’t know if I would be going to give my enough dedication for this article but still worth to give a small try…

When you always end up getting upset with your closed one still why you pray to god that your loved one would get everything what he/she wants? 

Why is that, you always want to be happy and show everyone your (fake) happy face but inside you, you always cry remembering him/her. 

When, sometimes you don't get a chance to speak or to see your closed, still you always wonder, what he/she would be doing...

Why is that, you'll never realize when each day, minute flies remembering him/her and the same clock runs like death clock also remembering him/her..

Why is that, you want to see everyone happy but ending up crying yourself for the whole life.. 

There would be only Why's and when's remains in this empty and silent heart... that don't have satisfactory answers. .

Life is so long, interesting, wonderful and comprises a lot of interesting stories from birth till death.

Sometimes you get more than your expectation, sometimes you never get what you want..You'll get more than one chance in your life to earn while Only one opportunity would be enough to get what you want...

( New..)

Its getting very hard to live or speak without the person with whom you are extremely closed but because of the circumstances, you have to be in the social boundary. Even though, you always think about her.. coz its soul relations..its not  have any word definitions.. just feelings.. that gets tough to explain... words are not stopping to flow..... 

Dedicated to those who don’t believe in God

Dedicated to all who don’t believe in God

Let me share some divine experiences I am having since last couple of days from the day I’ve started Hanuman Chalisa Sadhna and make an oath to go to Sarangpur Hanumanji Mandir once everything settled down.  Before, I was very upset, stressed, frustrated and was not able to speak or think anything. I’d

-          about to lose my new car.

-          my previous employer had refused to give my salary

-          And many more issues…

My life was pretty cool till August, all of a sudden by October, it became miserable with all known and unknown issues. I didn’t have any idea what is going on.my brother  Nitesh Shukla ( Yes, coz I could never forget his help, support, his commitment to me and every single moment he gave since the day we met, and ultimately he had inspired me to do Hanuman Chalisa sadhna as he saw my spiritual ability while Rahu Pooja) had advised me to start 100 hanuman chalisa for 100 days. Now, my ticket to India had been booked and nowhere I could continue for 100 days. I’ve prayed to Hanuman dada that, I will do as per my strength and availability. 

Oct. 22, 2012: Monday

After finishing of my hanuman chalisa pooja, when I was about to change my pooja clothes, I’ve noticed one small (approx.1 cm diameter) light red water drop on my right hand. At first glance, it was looking like either blood or red kanku in water. Less possibility of blood coz usually blood is thinner and darker.

 The first thing came to my mind by seeing this as whether it could be signal that hanuman dada is here but faith has no place in today’s scientific world so I was more curious about this and touched it, as soon as I’ve touched it disappeared. I’ve checked my nose as might be it could be blood, the ceiling of my home and every possible source from where the red drop can appear. But got no luck.. I’ve texted my friend, he did some investigation (J) and finally we came to conclusion that it was nothing but signal that Hanuman dada was here. He told me that usually it happens, as the days will pass you will experience many of incidents like this.

Oct. 23, 2012: Tuesday

After finishing pooja, I was curious to see if dada send any signal today again.. I’ve checked my whole body twice, (specially hands), my home but could not get anything.. so decided to leave for mandir after checking my mails outside. I’ve seen one mail from my previous employer, basically he owe me money but after calling him thrice the previous week, he refused and told me that his account balance is zero and didn’t owe me anything. When I saw his mail and open, it was the check, I’ve read the amount, it reads eight thousand and sixty dollars only.. my eyes couldn’t believe and saw the number, it was really 8060.00. 

Immediately I got the feeling that its nothing but Hanuman Dada did this. Tears were not stopping from eyes. I was continuously feeling his presence in my car. I was about to work today again on my money and dada read my mind..:) It was just an amazing feeling that never describe in words. 

Tears were continuously falling from eyes as dada listen to me and outside people were looking me crying on the road while driving to mandir.

While doing prakrima, I was continuously getting feeling that god will not let me down in this way..He was with me everytime and will be.. I got an illusion in mandir that my grand father was requesting to god.

Came back to home after mandir with this unforgettable divine experience and as soon as I’ve opened the door of my home, my home was smelling like sesame oil, the same smell that can found in Hanumanji Mandir on Saturdays.. I was completely amazed.. it was the clear signal that dada is/was at my home.. don’t know what happened, but I immediately clean my home again.. offer fresh ladu to idol of dada. I was feeling the divine experience in my life.. I was continuously checking whether dada had ate or no.. today, I was at that level where I would not get surprised if I found dada ate some laddu.

I’ve heard that devotee can get such type of experience after starting hanuman chalisa Sadhna. Famous Actor Sanjay dutt had gone through the same experience in his tough time.  (http://lightonvedicastrology.com/dailyjyotish-113007.htm), at the end of 100 days, Hanuman dada must come to give his blessings. Unfortunately,  in my case its not going to happen coz of situations at current home. But, I am very thankful to dada for giving me hard time so I could get some time for prayers. Otherwise, nowhere I could get time in this busy world. 

Refreshing to the old memory.. Same places with new look :)

It’s a story. It’s the story of U, Me and Hum.  The seeds of the story has been seminated long time ago at the holiest place where U and Me were seeing each other but no one has courage to speak.  It was unique thing where U and Me has always put god first in their relationship. Even almost all the times, bhajans can be heard in their datings, which was something very very unique and it will not found everywhere.

Finally, the almighty listens and U and Me get a chance to know each other… Datings, phones, everyday texts, weekend lunch, dinners.. the plant of U and Me was growing quickly to become a tree to U, Me and Hum. After long time finally the god hears the prayer of Me and the day comes, when U says to Me that its “Yes” two times at two different holy places. Both U and Me can never forget the day. U was looking so beautiful in all white.

Time flies.. Family introduction finishes… everyone were happy nd the time was going smoothly. But, as usual, the story has to turn to get some excitement.

Time suddenly changes, in past Me had taken an admission at one of the diploma mill to maintain the legal status in the US back in January. Me had never thought about whats going to happen in the future. One day, ICE officers visited Me’s home and called him to visit. Meanwhile, Me finished the job, got a new one and got an email from his employer that they are no longer carrying his visa. Day starts with Lawyers calls, digging into same and same information and only one question: “what will happened next”.  U and Me had taken decision to marry as soon as possible to get the things smooth. U’s dad called Me at Saturday night to tell this news and it was again the happiest moment in U and Me’s life.

Situation gets stressed, tensed.. Nd eventually, it came on U and Me’s future.  It had been decided to wait for some time until the situation gets resolved after applying for marriage license. It just a small step away for the tree of U, Me and Hum.

It came with change in U and Me’s life. Both knew that they like each other but after that, both come to know that they love a lot. Its pure love relation of soul mates.

One night Me saw a dream that he was in India and thinking about how things were changing so quickly in the USA and he was thinking about his good time with U. smile came to Me’s face while thinking. Suddenly someone knocked the door in Me’s dream. Me opened the door, It was U with her parents. Me was shocked. He had no idea that his dream was going to be true in few days. was there a kind of signal in Me’s life? No one had any idea what has been written in U and Me’s life.

The justice day came, Me went to ICE office for his meeting with one of the officer Mr. Scott. The meeting didn’t go well as it was expected. Even though Me didn’t do any crime, because of the people who did crime and his name was came in to the picture and he had to suffer. The ICE officer had given Me sometime to live in the United States but not to work.  U and Me both thought about positive outcomes when Me went to the ICE office, but both forgot that its the life. It can turn to any situation. You need to make your life adjustable with the situation.

Me came back to home in tense mood, met with U in the evening and explained her whole situation. 

U and Me both didnt know whats happening. Are they not mean for each other? relations has been broken. Its turning change in both's lives. Both are not in contact since long time. 

Me was counting his last days in the United States, After long time, one day he has to go to see ICE officer Mr. Scott for some left over work. And the same day, Me saw U in the same mandir where the seeds of the story has begun. Me didnt talk with U since past has to go to let the future in. but, Me always prays for U and he still does one parikarma that U told her to do since long time ago.  

Me was at ICE office, he saw Mr. Scott coming from the stairs. He greeted Mr. Scott.  Without saying Hi, Scott first asked Me that "Is your fiancee and her family okay now?"  

Me just laughed and told him that its done. Not Anymore. Scott extremely apologized and felt sorry. Me laughed and said, dont have to be sorry since its your work and you've did it very well. 

Scott again asked if Me would like to contact U's family at that time. but Me refused since it doesnt matter. 

Its amazing, One american govt. officer was also worrying about Me regardless he was meeting with so many people in the day.Scott has seen Me on the first day when he talked about how badly things has been changed. 

Nyways, its god's decision,No one has seen the future. It would be exciting to see how things will go. 

Time is getting tough for U and Me. Me had very hope and faith on god that some miracle will happen..( and still he is having faith that any miracle will take place coz life is long and it takes only few seconds to change the situation)..

Finally, Analyzing the situation back home in India, Me has to choose the different way to live the life.. so that, everyone could be happy...Me's parents has chosen the girl for him... 

Me is praying everyday to god for U that she would get the best partner who can make her more and more happy than Me.. .coz even U might not know that Me could do anything to see her happy and smiling...

P.S: The story was started in Last week of April 2012. Its been more than a year now with confusing end... 

Some of the leftovers which never reached to the destination... :( 

I do not know that when that day had come

Words in my diary remain incomplete

Last breath remain stopped in my lungs

And, the sight of this earth had been lost.

I do not know that when that day had come,

Life had took its leave in the dark night,

Drawing the last curtain over my eyes

And the sun rises as before,

Giving me that pleasurable pain,

When I think of the end of my movements

I can not bear those heavy moments

That sends me in the deep silence

I do not know that when that day had come

Words in my diary remain incomplete

Last breath remain stopped in my lungs

And, the sight of this earth had been lost.