Real Marriage...

Heard one sad story of my friend who was with me in Engineering .. His 7 years marriage life ( also having one 6 year small girl) is on  the stage of divorce right now. the reason for divorce is girl's parents want money for their surviving. My friend has already spent 350,000 Canadian Dollars.. He is ready to support for their entire life but they also dont want to stay with Boy's parents and want individual house from boy.. Girl's parents make a case on my friend about mental harassment and want money on that basis.. They are spoiling their girl's and their grand daughter's future. They are not thinking that their lives is only 15 years more, even the wife is not thinking this..

Its getting ridiculous and shameful for a Gujarati educated family.Marriages are becoming very practical and losing their values to live togather for the whole life.

Nyways.. I am praying to god for this family that everything will be settled down and the small girl should get the love from both parents...

Got this wonderful story in email from my colleague and would like to share..

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my wor

ds, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

True Story of Miss India 2009

Miss India 2009 - Pooja Chopra

--- Neera Chopra is her mother. This is her story.---

Neera Chopra lived through abuse, poverty and some tough choices to make her once-unwanted girl child, Pooja Chopra,

--- Neera Chopras story:---

"I don’t know where to begin... they were terrible times. My husband was well-placed, but the marriage had begun to sink almost as soon as it began. Like most women do, I tried to work against all the odds .

My in-laws insisted everything would be alright if I had a son. My first child was a daughter, and that didn’t do me any good... but I couldn’t walk out. I had lost my father, my brother was in a not-so-senior position in Bata. I didn’t want to be a burden on my family and continued to live in my marital home in Kolkata.

I looked after my mother-inlaw, who was suffering from cancer, and while bathing her, I would tell myself she would bless me and put things right.

I don’t know how I tolerated it all. The least a man can do, if he must philander, is to not flaunt his women in his wife’s face. Then began the manhandling. I still wanted my marriage to survive. I was a pure vegetarian and learnt to cook non-vegetarian delicacies thinking it would please him.

Then, I was pregnant again. When Pooja was eight months in my womb, my husband brought a girl to the house and announced he would marry her. I thought of killing myself. I hung on the slight hope that if the baby was a boy, my marriage could be saved.

When Pooja was born a girl, for three days, nobody came to the hospital. There was a squadron leader’s wife on the opposite bed, who was kind enough to give me baby clothes for Pooja to wear. When she was 20 days old, I had to make a choice. I left the house with my girls ‘ Pooja and Shubra, who was seven then. I haven’t seen my husband since. I promised myself, even if we had just one roti, we would share it, but together.

I began life in Mumbai with the support of my mother, brother, who was by then married. It wasn’t the ideal situation, especially when he had children - space, money, everything was short. I began work at the Taj Colaba and got my own place. How did I manage? Truth be told, I would put a chatai on the floor, leave two glasses of milk and some food, and bolt the door from outside before going to work. I would leave the key with the neighbours and tell the kids to shout out to them when it was time to leave for school.

Their tiny hands would do homework on their own, feed themselves on days that I worked late. My elder daughter Shubhra would make Pooja do her corrections... This is how they grew up. At a birthday party, Pooja would not eat her piece of cake, but pack it and bring it home to share with her sister. When Shubhra started working, she would skip lunch and pack a chicken sandwich that she would slip in her sister’s lunchbox the next day.

I used to pray, ‘God, punish me for my karma, but not my innocent little kids. Please let me provide them the basics.’ I used to struggle for shoes, socks, uniforms. I was living in Bangur Nagar, Goregaon. Pooja would walk four bus stops down to the St Thomas
Academy . Then, too little to cross the road, she would ask a passerby to help her. I had to save the bus money to be able to put some milk in their bodies.

Life began to change when I got a job for Rs 6,000 at the then Goa Penta. Mr Chhabra, the owner, and his wife, were kind enough to provide a loan for me. I sent my daughters to my sister’s house in Pune, with my mother as support. I spent four years working in Goa while I saved to buy a small one-bedroom house in Pune (where the family still lives). I would work 16-18 hours a day, not even taking weekly offs to accumulate leave and visit my daughters three or four times a year.

Once I bought my house and found a job in Pune, life began to settle. I worked in Hotel Blue Diamond for a year and then finally joined Mainland China ‘ which changed my life. The consideration of the team and management brought me the stability to bring them up, despite late hours and the travelling a hotelier must do.

Shubhra got a job in Hotel Blue Diamond, being the youngest employee there while still in college, and managed to finish her Masters in commerce and her BBM. Today, she is married to a sweet Catholic boy who is in the Merchant Navy and has a sweet daughter.

I continue to finish my day job and come home and take tuitions, as I have done for all these years. I also do all my household chores myself.

Through the years, Shubhra has been my anchor and Pooja, the rock. Pooja’s tiny hands have wiped away my tears when I broke down. She has stood up for me, when I couldn’t speak for myself. Academically brilliant, she participated in all extra-curricular activities. When she needed high heels to model in, she did odd shows and bought them for herself.

When I saw Pooja give her speech on TV, I knew it came from her heart. I could see the twinkle in her eye. And I thought to myself as she won ‘My God, this is my little girl.’ God was trying to tell me something.

Today, I’ve no regrets. I believe every cloud has a silver lining. As a mother, I’ve done nothing great."

Pantaloons Femina Miss India Pooja Chopra’s mother promised, ‘One day, this girl will make me proud’.


Pooja speaks on fulfilling that promise... "When I was 20 days old, my mother was asked to make a choice. It was either me, a girl child, or her husband. She chose me. As she walked out she turned around and told her husband, ‘One day, this girl will make me proud’. That day has come. Her husband went on to marry a woman who gave him two sons. Today, as I stand here a Miss India, I don’t even know if my father knows that it is me, his daughter, who has set out to conquer the world, a crown on my head.


"Our lives have not been easy, least so for my mother. Financially, emotionally, she struggled to stay afloat, to keep her job and yet allow us to be the best that we could be. I was given only one condition when I started modelling ‘ my grades wouldn’t drop.

"All the girls in the pageant worked hard, but my edge was my mother’s sacrifice, her karma. Today, when people call to congratulate me, it’s not me they pay tribute to, but to her life and her struggle. She’s the true Woman of Substance. She is my light, my mentor, my driving force.

Coming Soon...

What could be the worst?

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

“Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.

Even though Randy is much older than me (*anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?*), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

*Don't worry Dad*, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

*Your loving daughter*,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the words, Please Turn Over.

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

*I love you*!

*Your loving daughter*,
Rosie.

J

Just saw this as one of the post in Facebook and that sparked idea in my small but intelligent mind to write on something.

Few days before, I was listening to “Shri Bhagvat Puran.” One story is that , someday One Rushi visited to one very rich seth’s home. Rushi was pleased by seth and his wife’s hospitality and gave him two envelopes and advised him to open one in good time and the other in worst time and he left.

As time passed by, Rushi and his wife completely forgot about these envelopes. Suddenly one day, his wife advised him to open one since the time was running good. The letter in envelope says, “ It would be also gone”. (Meaning, this time will not run more)Seth and his wife both were surprised by reading this but they didn’t get the meaning.

Time flies… Seth’s business was not running good. He had very hard time in his business. Suddenly he had to sell off his assets to survive. His wife left him. His business got caught in fire. No one stood with him in his tough time. His home was auctioned to pay off the borrower’s money. He was broken down. Suddenly he remembered the other envelope that Rushi gave him. He thought nothing could be worst than this. He opened the other envelope. The letter read “It would be also gone.”

Life is like ocean wave and we are the surfers, surfing the life waves. We always have the joy of happiness when it goes high and thrilling experience in tough time. Some people really don’t have the ability to handle both good and tough time.

Famous Gujarati lyricist and singer ManiRaj Barot ( founder of "Sandeo" in Gujarati Garba) died because of heart attack in young age. The reason for heart attack was excessive happiness due to increasing popularity of his song sanedo internationally. While, so many (Famous and celebrity) people have shortened their lives by committing suicide coz they had the obstacles in their life and they were unable to face the tough time.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicides).

I would’ve also committed suicide already if this will resolve my current and future obstacles in the life. But, do they really?? No.

Some people lose their “so called values”,( I’ve met lot of people who usually says big words in front of others to impress but when you actually live with them for few days or try to know more, you actually get to know the reality of those people and at that point, you lose trust from yourself to identify people, these people are called dual or multi personality and considering most dangerous, more on these people in next post). Do the things which they don’t have to and create entertainment for others. J J..

Gandhiji once asked Winston Churchill during independence movement of India, How to face tough time. Churchill replied; “go back to your religion. Your religion has great power and values that you've ever thought of.”  Its known that Gandhiji usually read The Bhagvad Gita and considers Gita as his second mother. 

What I do in my tough time.. I just pray to god. I have ultimate faith in the supremo that whatever he will give me, I'll willingly accept it. he is with me every time. ( As days are passing with my Hanuman Chalisa Sadhna, Every day I get smell of any things associated with Hanuman dada (that would be smell of agarbati, either smell of ghee, lotus flower, sindhur or anything in my car while going to mandir, Its becoming very usual for me.. )

I usually listen/ read stories of Shri Ram bhagwan, Shri Krishna Bhagwan and the other characters from Mahabharta, Ramayan and think that inspite of being god themselves, even if they faced toughest time, then I am nothing. .

Once Shri Krishna Bhagwan told Kunti mata that, Dear Mother, Seems you've forgotten me now since you're having good time. Immediately, Kunti mata apologized and  asked Shri Krishna Bhagwan that please give us tough time so that we could never forget you..   ( I think. Krishna Bhagwan took this very seriously..) :) 

Nyways, the bottom line is not to get distracted in tough time and go and talk to your wellwisher with a open and innocent heart.. you definatlely come up with some solution in hand. 

For most loved and most close ones

Don’t know from where to start as thoughts, feelings, care, values and love can never be bound under words, sentences, phrases and small articles….I don’t know if I would be going to give my enough dedication for this article but still worth to give a small try…

When you always end up getting upset with your closed one still why you pray to god that your loved one would get everything what he/she wants? 

Why is that, you always want to be happy and show everyone your (fake) happy face but inside you, you always cry remembering him/her. 

When, sometimes you don't get a chance to speak or to see your closed, still you always wonder, what he/she would be doing...

Why is that, you'll never realize when each day, minute flies remembering him/her and the same clock runs like death clock also remembering him/her..

Why is that, you want to see everyone happy but ending up crying yourself for the whole life.. 

There would be only Why's and when's remains in this empty and silent heart... that don't have satisfactory answers. .

Life is so long, interesting, wonderful and comprises a lot of interesting stories from birth till death.

Sometimes you get more than your expectation, sometimes you never get what you want..You'll get more than one chance in your life to earn while Only one opportunity would be enough to get what you want...

( New..)

Its getting very hard to live or speak without the person with whom you are extremely closed but because of the circumstances, you have to be in the social boundary. Even though, you always think about her.. coz its soul relations..its not  have any word definitions.. just feelings.. that gets tough to explain... words are not stopping to flow..... 

Dedicated to those who don’t believe in God

Dedicated to all who don’t believe in God

Let me share some divine experiences I am having since last couple of days from the day I’ve started Hanuman Chalisa Sadhna and make an oath to go to Sarangpur Hanumanji Mandir once everything settled down.  Before, I was very upset, stressed, frustrated and was not able to speak or think anything. I’d

-          about to lose my new car.

-          my previous employer had refused to give my salary

-          And many more issues…

My life was pretty cool till August, all of a sudden by October, it became miserable with all known and unknown issues. I didn’t have any idea what is going on.my brother  Nitesh Shukla ( Yes, coz I could never forget his help, support, his commitment to me and every single moment he gave since the day we met, and ultimately he had inspired me to do Hanuman Chalisa sadhna as he saw my spiritual ability while Rahu Pooja) had advised me to start 100 hanuman chalisa for 100 days. Now, my ticket to India had been booked and nowhere I could continue for 100 days. I’ve prayed to Hanuman dada that, I will do as per my strength and availability. 

Oct. 22, 2012: Monday

After finishing of my hanuman chalisa pooja, when I was about to change my pooja clothes, I’ve noticed one small (approx.1 cm diameter) light red water drop on my right hand. At first glance, it was looking like either blood or red kanku in water. Less possibility of blood coz usually blood is thinner and darker.

 The first thing came to my mind by seeing this as whether it could be signal that hanuman dada is here but faith has no place in today’s scientific world so I was more curious about this and touched it, as soon as I’ve touched it disappeared. I’ve checked my nose as might be it could be blood, the ceiling of my home and every possible source from where the red drop can appear. But got no luck.. I’ve texted my friend, he did some investigation (J) and finally we came to conclusion that it was nothing but signal that Hanuman dada was here. He told me that usually it happens, as the days will pass you will experience many of incidents like this.

Oct. 23, 2012: Tuesday

After finishing pooja, I was curious to see if dada send any signal today again.. I’ve checked my whole body twice, (specially hands), my home but could not get anything.. so decided to leave for mandir after checking my mails outside. I’ve seen one mail from my previous employer, basically he owe me money but after calling him thrice the previous week, he refused and told me that his account balance is zero and didn’t owe me anything. When I saw his mail and open, it was the check, I’ve read the amount, it reads eight thousand and sixty dollars only.. my eyes couldn’t believe and saw the number, it was really 8060.00. 

Immediately I got the feeling that its nothing but Hanuman Dada did this. Tears were not stopping from eyes. I was continuously feeling his presence in my car. I was about to work today again on my money and dada read my mind..:) It was just an amazing feeling that never describe in words. 

Tears were continuously falling from eyes as dada listen to me and outside people were looking me crying on the road while driving to mandir.

While doing prakrima, I was continuously getting feeling that god will not let me down in this way..He was with me everytime and will be.. I got an illusion in mandir that my grand father was requesting to god.

Came back to home after mandir with this unforgettable divine experience and as soon as I’ve opened the door of my home, my home was smelling like sesame oil, the same smell that can found in Hanumanji Mandir on Saturdays.. I was completely amazed.. it was the clear signal that dada is/was at my home.. don’t know what happened, but I immediately clean my home again.. offer fresh ladu to idol of dada. I was feeling the divine experience in my life.. I was continuously checking whether dada had ate or no.. today, I was at that level where I would not get surprised if I found dada ate some laddu.

I’ve heard that devotee can get such type of experience after starting hanuman chalisa Sadhna. Famous Actor Sanjay dutt had gone through the same experience in his tough time.  (http://lightonvedicastrology.com/dailyjyotish-113007.htm), at the end of 100 days, Hanuman dada must come to give his blessings. Unfortunately,  in my case its not going to happen coz of situations at current home. But, I am very thankful to dada for giving me hard time so I could get some time for prayers. Otherwise, nowhere I could get time in this busy world. 

Refreshing to the old memory.. Same places with new look :)

It’s a story. It’s the story of U, Me and Hum.  The seeds of the story has been seminated long time ago at the holiest place where U and Me were seeing each other but no one has courage to speak.  It was unique thing where U and Me has always put god first in their relationship. Even almost all the times, bhajans can be heard in their datings, which was something very very unique and it will not found everywhere.

Finally, the almighty listens and U and Me get a chance to know each other… Datings, phones, everyday texts, weekend lunch, dinners.. the plant of U and Me was growing quickly to become a tree to U, Me and Hum. After long time finally the god hears the prayer of Me and the day comes, when U says to Me that its “Yes” two times at two different holy places. Both U and Me can never forget the day. U was looking so beautiful in all white.

Time flies.. Family introduction finishes… everyone were happy nd the time was going smoothly. But, as usual, the story has to turn to get some excitement.

Time suddenly changes, in past Me had taken an admission at one of the diploma mill to maintain the legal status in the US back in January. Me had never thought about whats going to happen in the future. One day, ICE officers visited Me’s home and called him to visit. Meanwhile, Me finished the job, got a new one and got an email from his employer that they are no longer carrying his visa. Day starts with Lawyers calls, digging into same and same information and only one question: “what will happened next”.  U and Me had taken decision to marry as soon as possible to get the things smooth. U’s dad called Me at Saturday night to tell this news and it was again the happiest moment in U and Me’s life.

Situation gets stressed, tensed.. Nd eventually, it came on U and Me’s future.  It had been decided to wait for some time until the situation gets resolved after applying for marriage license. It just a small step away for the tree of U, Me and Hum.

It came with change in U and Me’s life. Both knew that they like each other but after that, both come to know that they love a lot. Its pure love relation of soul mates.

One night Me saw a dream that he was in India and thinking about how things were changing so quickly in the USA and he was thinking about his good time with U. smile came to Me’s face while thinking. Suddenly someone knocked the door in Me’s dream. Me opened the door, It was U with her parents. Me was shocked. He had no idea that his dream was going to be true in few days. was there a kind of signal in Me’s life? No one had any idea what has been written in U and Me’s life.

The justice day came, Me went to ICE office for his meeting with one of the officer Mr. Scott. The meeting didn’t go well as it was expected. Even though Me didn’t do any crime, because of the people who did crime and his name was came in to the picture and he had to suffer. The ICE officer had given Me sometime to live in the United States but not to work.  U and Me both thought about positive outcomes when Me went to the ICE office, but both forgot that its the life. It can turn to any situation. You need to make your life adjustable with the situation.

Me came back to home in tense mood, met with U in the evening and explained her whole situation. 

U and Me both didnt know whats happening. Are they not mean for each other? relations has been broken. Its turning change in both's lives. Both are not in contact since long time. 

Me was counting his last days in the United States, After long time, one day he has to go to see ICE officer Mr. Scott for some left over work. And the same day, Me saw U in the same mandir where the seeds of the story has begun. Me didnt talk with U since past has to go to let the future in. but, Me always prays for U and he still does one parikarma that U told her to do since long time ago.  

Me was at ICE office, he saw Mr. Scott coming from the stairs. He greeted Mr. Scott.  Without saying Hi, Scott first asked Me that "Is your fiancee and her family okay now?"  

Me just laughed and told him that its done. Not Anymore. Scott extremely apologized and felt sorry. Me laughed and said, dont have to be sorry since its your work and you've did it very well. 

Scott again asked if Me would like to contact U's family at that time. but Me refused since it doesnt matter. 

Its amazing, One american govt. officer was also worrying about Me regardless he was meeting with so many people in the day.Scott has seen Me on the first day when he talked about how badly things has been changed. 

Nyways, its god's decision,No one has seen the future. It would be exciting to see how things will go. 

Time is getting tough for U and Me. Me had very hope and faith on god that some miracle will happen..( and still he is having faith that any miracle will take place coz life is long and it takes only few seconds to change the situation)..

Finally, Analyzing the situation back home in India, Me has to choose the different way to live the life.. so that, everyone could be happy...Me's parents has chosen the girl for him... 

Me is praying everyday to god for U that she would get the best partner who can make her more and more happy than Me.. .coz even U might not know that Me could do anything to see her happy and smiling...

P.S: The story was started in Last week of April 2012. Its been more than a year now with confusing end... 

Some of the leftovers which never reached to the destination... :( 

I do not know that when that day had come

Words in my diary remain incomplete

Last breath remain stopped in my lungs

And, the sight of this earth had been lost.

I do not know that when that day had come,

Life had took its leave in the dark night,

Drawing the last curtain over my eyes

And the sun rises as before,

Giving me that pleasurable pain,

When I think of the end of my movements

I can not bear those heavy moments

That sends me in the deep silence

I do not know that when that day had come

Words in my diary remain incomplete

Last breath remain stopped in my lungs

And, the sight of this earth had been lost.

My small brain is bombarded again today with big and complex thoughts. Brain signals tune up with philosophical wave lengths and it resulted into omits the thoughts from that subconscious section where they were try to hide before. Nyways, not more digging into technical space and jumping out to normal human behavioral space.

Got an opportunity to think about my personal life and seems like it just completely messed up. After leaving the home, going to complete 6 years on 10^th August, I really didn’t do any major thing that can make my family happy. Being the only child, It is obvious that most my closed people have lot of expectations from me and I didn’t disappointed anyone till when I was in India.

But, circumstances are just not in my favor after coming to the USA. Faced a recession, stuck up with the long lasting cycles of Visa status and job security. Weekdays and weekends become months and years… Every year seems to me that, it’s just situations are forcing me to be far away from family…

“My guide book for excuses” is empty now to find any excuses when parents and grandmother asks, “When you are coming to India.” They don’t care about the country, how much you are making, how much you’ve earned, they just want to see their child once. Might be at this stage I won’t understand their pain but I just pray to the almighty not to give me the same pain when I’ll get old and I will have my children and grandchildren.

After spending 6 years in materialistic fulfilled country, why it does seem to me that the wealthy and materialistic life can never bring happiness to you and your family want.  

After working in high paid jobs, at one of the top most locations in the world, for the challenging projects, why this things are not helping to make me happy.  

The expected question arises in my mind what is real happiness? I think, It depends on person, ages, social life and present situation. For example, a small block building game can make a small child happy, while gaining the profits in stock market makes a trader and a firm happy. But these all are said to have short term happiness. And I have no idea about long term happiness.

I remember the words one of my finance professor Phiroz Bhagat used to say, “Happiness is defined as the integrity of

-          smile on others faces because of you

-          to fulfill your parent’s wish when they want

-          you don’t have questions with your life, and the last

-          you love yourself and all love you too the way you are*

*doesn’t included bad habits

Nonetheless to say that, he is also an author and a writer. J..

It must have been written tons of articles about happiness and how to be happy. (The result from survey says that, if you read those articles on how to be happy, you will feel more depressed…J )

Thoughts just don’t want to stop… abt career, to start a business, abut to settle my cousins back in india, to get a big house for parents , to buy the house in the usa, to show them the world ( starting from the USA) , to make them happy by getting married… to start a charity trust to help the needy people… Oh gosh…. Just please stop….

I think, Men are the beautiful, powerful and emotional creature ever god has made.  In our society, Men has been ignored since long time.. People mostly give more attention to girls, based on fact that girls has to leave the home one day and need to settle down at new family, with new people (god has given this power to women, I agree with it but at the same time, men has much more responsibility to take care of his wife and make her always happy)


On the other hand, Men always has been counted as ignored alien. From the birth, boys had been treated in more strict manner than the girl… most of the people always have high expectations from a boy from his early age since he is going to take the more responsibility on his shoulder in the future. But, I really don’t know who cares about his feelings, his emotions…


Like the girls has dream for his life partner, boys also carry the same dream.. the difference is that, its easy for girls to express their feelings.. not in the same case with men…He will think that its not really good time to think about the feelings or rather to focus on study and then career…to build his family.. to help his younger siblings… and eventually the time passes out… he will loose the time for himself…
In most cases, Men sacrifices a lot than a woman.


He sacrifices his time and works long hours for his family, (on the other hand, his family members might think that he does not have time for themselves now, he is changed, when he comes after work ,His expectation is to spend some good time with his family, to have either lunch/dinner together but the reality might be different, either his wife waiting for him so she can complain about his mother, same thing goes for his mother, he never sees his children in workdays. Either they out/slept/not in good mood to talk with dad, in spite of expecting love or warmness, he gets different environment).


Men always focused to always be happy, (does not matter about the troubles and problems he might go through but he’ll never let other know).


He always hides his emotions. (it does not mean that, he is does not have emotion. When girl gets married and leaves home, its always father that its being more sad.. Mother can even cry but the dad wont’. He will never cry in front of all. He will think that, his tears would break his daughter.. )


He will always takes care of everyone first and then he will think for himself. ( I really don’t remember when my dad bought new clothes for himself, but I always remember that he never came empty hands for me..)   


He will keep quite and won’t say anything when things don’t go well (I fall under this category..people are considering me as weak and taken my silent as granted, but the fact is I don’t want to hurt anyone by words…people don’t understand this and eventually men has to suffer emotionally.)


Why men cannot express their feelings? Being a man, even I don’t know the answer.. but what I think is:

• Men express their feelings by action more than words.
• For example..telling  “ I love you” words as an example to his partner. For men, saying these three little words require a huge effort – but the urge comes quite easily for most women.
• Similarly, in a fight, women like to dissect the emotional reasons behind the issues. But, For men? They want to skip the “Let’s talk” part, and just want to see his partner happy.

The man who always carry a smile on his face.. the truth is he is carrying lot of pain in his heart.


The man who always worried about his family and take care them warmness and love.. the truth is he needs more love and warmness..

The man who never complains about anything to anyone, he need someone to understand him without saying or telling any word…